How a bizarre question about our upper lip taught me about relaxation and peace of mind.

I remember the moment so clearly:
In Nepal, one of the final months of 2006.
I was on a holiday from my corporate job,
Desperately needed space to think
To reflect on my life choices
And the path ahead.

I am sitting in a tiny café
Old wooden tables, dusty, creaky benches
Very low ceiling
It fits maybe eight guests, tops.
A the back a sort of kitchen,
Only one meal on offer:
Tibetan bread with fried eggs.
And chai, the sweet milky tea.
It was our favourite breakfast place,
Our guesthouse just across the road.
Me, the man who is now my husband,
And a mutual Polish friend called Tomasz.

I asked them the following question:

“Can you do this too?”

“Did you know about this?”

“That when you focus on your upper lip,

You can relax it?”

“You can let it drop down

By letting the muscles soften?”

It was a bizarre, comical question.
They looked at me
With laughter in their eyes.

Life is asking us to relax.

I know it sounds weird.
And I’ve got no idea why it was about my upper lip.
But we all tried it, there and then:
Letting our upper lip drop.
Yes please, dear fellow Inner Pilgrim
Try it now for yourself.
We might look like fools,
But who cares,
We are on a pursuit of inner peace.

Because I meant it,
I know it sounded ridiculous
But I was utterly serious:
I could relax my upper lip
With just my intention.
With only my will to do so,
I controlled the relaxation
Of my upper lip.
And if I can relax my upper lip
What else can I relax?
I tried my forehead, jaw, cheeks.
My entire face,
My skull,
My brain,
My neck, and shoulders and back.
Softening, releasing, letting go.

If you’ve been to a good yoga class
They let you experience the same.
It’s often called a Body Scan,
Travelling through your body
With your awareness.
Letting you drop, and soften
All your muscles one by one.
It helps you sleep better
Switch off your busy mind
Bringing peace and relaxation.

(I’d especially recommended Yin Yoga
If you’d like to experience it too.
Because in Yin Yoga they teach you
To relax each muscle
Not involved in the pose.
And by doing so
You can drop much deeper
Into the pose,
And most importantly,
Into your own body).

Explore these guided meditations, including a body scan, for more relaxation and peace:

I loved those yoga classes,
Long before my upper lip question.
Yet that moment when insight struck
I realised it is my mind
Guiding my body into relaxation.
Just as it’s my mind
Who guides my body into tension.
Our own thoughts direct our body
Towards soft or tight muscles,
Setting into motion
A journey of either stress or inner calm.

Now,
A little side note is in order.
I am not saying
That when you are chronically ill
It’s your own mind
That can fix it just like that.
This is not an message
To make anyone feel bad, angry or alone.

My intention is to inspire you
To consciously relax.
Just like I did
At that Nepali breakfast place.
Training to use our thoughts,
And to utilise the power of our mind
In order to invite our body
To soften
To loosen up
To drop, sink, let go…

On the in-breathe
Breathe in peace, quiet, light and love.
On the out-breathe
Let go of tension, stress and pain.
Release anything that isn’t serving you.
Allow your body to relax.
Even the parts that are ill
Or chronically in pain,
Relax all around it
Every cell inside of it,
Relax.

It starts with an upper lip
And before we know it
We use our own mind
To bring us peace.

With love,
Karin